[Is there a schedule for that? His thoughts are mirroring Aziraphale's, wondering how all the organization business works, here, when it seems to be run by a kid and a bunch of yetis.
He's fairly sure they're not going to force them to do anything they don't want to do; he's pretty sure he heard Jack say something along those lines, so he feels like they should be allowed to get stoned one evening without it being a whole thing.]
Would be. Not sure if I could scare up a record player, but there's got to be decent speakers around here somewhere so we can have some music.
[Kids want speakers for presents all the time, he's sure. The yetis or elves should be able to loan some out.]
[ He makes a sort of "you'd think there would be" hmm in the back of his throat. No Guardian of Scheduling when you need one, huh... to get the timeline worked out and all.
Well, that's all fine and good. Makes this bit of scheduling easier. Some flexibility can go a long way. That they've apparently gotten through nearly a year in London post-apocalypse with no incidents but still haven't ~indulged~ is basically a crime. They've more than paid their relaxation dues. ]
Oh, why not? We'll make a little night of it. [ Aziraphale does a thing with his eyebrows that he does when he thinks he's being cool. Or, possibly, when he's planning to do shitty magic tricks even worse than usual and that's included in his idea of making a little night of getting stoned. Only time will tell. ] Of course, if you think that's going to be the time you finally win me over on sleeping, best brace yourself for a disappointment.
[ Tried it in Wilderlands, not comfy and didn't even have a choice about it, 0/10. ]
[It truly is the most unfortunate circumstances that Crowley has found himself in. He should be in love with someone cool and suave, and yet here he is, head over heels for the biggest dork in the fucking universe.
Tragic.]
There you go, thwarting my plans again. [Said in the driest tone imaginable. He didn't have any secret plot, he just wants to vibe.] I know well and good how you feel about sleep.
Then all's well that ends well. [ And what ends well is getting some zero-stakes quality time. Wonderful. ] Dan seems a lovely man, I'm sure he'll give it his best effort.
[He can't believe they have actual plans to get stoned and hang out. Feels wild, but he's pleased about it.]
If he's married to the Easter Bunny, who's apparently all about Spring — [This is him somewhat admitting he did research. Don't @ him.] — they ought to be able to figure out growing a plant.
[ No, Aziraphale is going to @ him about it. With his eyes. In a very lovesick thirsty sort of way. But that second part is only activated when Crowley isn't looking directly at him. ]
One can always hope. [ Hope is, by his accounting, always free of charge. ] We'll see what the word is once everyone's gotten settled? They may have a bit of home-territory business to see to.
[Honestly, the reason he's been doing research is because he feels like there isn't much else to do. Despite not interacting closely with humans, he did spend a lot of time around them, and it's weird to not be able to just go to a bar and order a few rounds.]
[ Aziraphale is mature enough not to have himself a strop about missing their London and the bookshop, or a secret private strop about the fun little public non-dates with breathing room that they could have had in the time he's spent away from the proper reality.
Mature enough not to have either of those for now. Wouldn't be very becoming in the face of the very important reason they were brought here, after all. He'll see how that progresses.
No rush. There's time. Whether they're used to feeling like they've got it or not. And they're together in this, and that's. That's been nice. Same side. Saving humanity. Again. ]
Nature of tackling a very large and mysterious problem. [ The increasingly tangled webs literally everything weaves... what a time. ] But at least we're tackling it from some bang-up accommodations.
[ One day they'll go back home and he'll steal a book to take with him probably. ]
Things that Crowley thinks in a stupid moment but is smart enough not to say out loud.]
If they'd just brought us here as we usually are, we could've had it handled already.
[He hasn't even checked if he can stop time, but he doesn't think he can and isn't keen on wasting the energy to find out. There's definitely a feeling of — less, though, a sense that he isn't firing on all cylinders. Metaphorically.]
It's a sight better than what you've told me of the last place you were at.
Well and truly. [ Handled, wrapped, and neatly passed back over to all the originals. That feels like a fair enough assessment, even with their history of poor luck and mismanagement.
Strange phenomenon. Being believed in, supposedly, enough to be pulled here at all, yet also turning up lacking. He was pared down even more in the Wilderlands, but that felt much more like a straightforward lack of connection. Having his metaphorical tether handed over to something else, for better or worse. ]
Oh, it's much nicer. We were tromping around in the elements for ages before we found that base of operations. Mud, foraging, getting into scrapes, that sort of thing. [ Bitchy lil handwave. The kind that says "I've grown far too domesticated, so the tromping around got very old very quickly." ] Superb quill craftsmanship, though.
[Crowley gives an appropriately dramatic groan at the mention of the elements, his face all scrunched up in a familiar way.]
You couldn't pay me to go tromping around in the woods again. [Not that Aziraphale had a choice in the matter, but it's the sentiment that counts.] Remember the bloody Arthurian times? The armour was awful, it was always damp, everything smelled like horse. Even when you'd not been near a horse for weeks. Everything just smelled like horse.
[He suffered so much, and for what? To look cool and mysterious?]
[Crowley could point out that Aziraphale is just a sucker for courtly romance, but that feels like treading a very dangerous line.]
Alright for you to say, you were mostly just swanning about in a castle with Arthur. Drinking wine and eating roast boar while I was freezing my arse off in the mud.
[Being the Black Knight was kinda fun but also it kinda sucked.]
Difficult in the sense that it was bloody annoying, but actually riling people up was pretty easy.
[It usually is, during times of inequality. Arthur might have been a bit more decent than a lot of other rulers, but it didn't address a whole lot of pre-existing issues.]
[ Poor Crowley... suffering the elements. Aziraphale would give him a consolation arm pat if he were close enough, but alas, it must wait for another day. ]
Veeeeery soulful eyes, horses. Majestic animal. Bone structure aside, obviously. [ He doesn't know why that got through quality assurance with no notes. ] If I never have to ride one again, it'll still be too soon.
The first drafts looked so sweet, too! No idea what happened there.
[ Would not be surprised if the lead designer went to superhell. Oh, maybe they didn't get a chance to finish up first... Aziraphale never thought to ask. ]
Just as well we're dealing more with magical reindeer in these parts.
[ He splits the fingers of his non- drink holding hand to look more like a hoof shape, as though it needed explaining, or as though the gesture itself would help explain anything even if it needed the explaining. This is just what he knows about reindeer. Better hooves for traction.
He never was deeply involved in the actual design process of creatures as much as he was present for the designing. His properly involved job was lined up for after rollout. ]
Oh, how was that? Lovely culture. Gorgeous weaving work.
[ If the children related to heroes who could stay on track, neither of them would be here right now. ]
[Crowley snorts at the gesture, on account of being able to tell exactly what Aziraphale means even though it's a vague explanation at best and absolutely nonsensical at worst.]
It was a well needed break from the Romans, I'll tell you that. [It's no secret that Crowley was miserable in Rome. Even Aziraphale knows that, having found him trying to drown himself in liquor.] They were very clever, didn't have much access to metals back then, so they were using bone and antler for all sorts of tools. I've probably got some antler hair pins kicking around somewhere.
[Crowley doesn't hold onto things, not the way Aziraphale does, but occasionally an item or two will be worth keeping, especially if there's any sentimental value.
[ Demonstration not needed. Free excuse to openly admire Crowley's hair a bit, appreciated. ]
Splendid. [ Rare Crowley souvenir showcase... Aziraphale tucks it very carefully into his mental list of things to look forward to.
It's not much of a list, not terribly long. The sort of thing an eternal being cobbles together during a few months drafted out into some other reality right on the tail of thwarting the apocalypse, largely, because he hadn't quite worked up the nerve to dare to make that list beforehand. Scattered little collection of items, most of which have Crowley's name attached.
Café where Crowley might like the coffee. A museum display he'd like to listen to Crowley complain about, standing next to him. Stroll through the park with Crowley, or maybe a nice botanical garden, maybe take him by the arm for a minute. He could, he could call him on the phone and invite him over and neither of them would have to scrape together a whole imaginary pretext for why. Aziraphale doesn't know how that phone call will work, strictly speaking, without him sounding ridiculous or somehow managing to put a foot in his mouth.
Well. He doesn't know how to offer up most of those things without sounding ridiculous or managing to put a foot in his mouth, yet.
But he keeps it all in rotation, because he can learn. And he can learn how to tell Crowley that he's trying to learn, that he wants to learn, has wanted, will keep wanting, in the same way that part of the list is about trying to learn to feel like they really do have the time for it. Not borrowed, not a delay.
Which would be an easier hurdle if "retirement" didn't apparently tag them with "open for freelance recruitment" markers on some metaphysical level they're not aware of.
Spilled milk, though. ]
Is the longer hair back out of fashion, or were you just in for a bit of a changeup?
[ He'd kept a touch of length for a while there recently, and Ashtoreth, well, she'd certainly been well-coiffed. Could be that Crowley felt awfully boxed-in by that. Can't relate, as someone who plans to wear this same waistcoat in all forms and functions until it turns to dust.
Doesn't need to relate, even. That's what he has Crowley for. ]
[There are so many ways to answer that question, some of them truer than others, some of them true in a way that won't reveal anything about the state he was in when he decided he was due for a change.
Because "I had something akin to a panic attack about the end of the world and subsequently stressed cleaned my apartment and cut my hair" is the full and actual truth, and is absolutely not what he's going to say to Aziraphale.
They don't talk about — emotions, not like that. Aziraphale made that abundantly clear in the aftermath of the world not ending, when he brushed right past the fact he'd found Crowley drunk out of his mind and crying about Aziraphale seemingly being gone. It was sort of a relief, not having to address it, but he also suspects that Aziraphale just doesn't want to deal with all those messy emotions, which is well within his rights. Satan knows Crowley doesn't want to deal with his own messy emotions, he's just stuck with them.]
Little of both, frankly. Suppose it was a bit symbolic, leaving Ashtoreth behind since I had no reason to keep playing that part.
[A sliver of the truth, as a treat.
There are more complicated aspects of even this, how Crowley felt about leaving Warlock, but they're definitely not going to get into that.]
Not thinking of giving it a try yourself, are you?
[This is a joke, they both know that isn't going to happen.]
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[Is there a schedule for that? His thoughts are mirroring Aziraphale's, wondering how all the organization business works, here, when it seems to be run by a kid and a bunch of yetis.
He's fairly sure they're not going to force them to do anything they don't want to do; he's pretty sure he heard Jack say something along those lines, so he feels like they should be allowed to get stoned one evening without it being a whole thing.]
Would be. Not sure if I could scare up a record player, but there's got to be decent speakers around here somewhere so we can have some music.
[Kids want speakers for presents all the time, he's sure. The yetis or elves should be able to loan some out.]
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Well, that's all fine and good. Makes this bit of scheduling easier. Some flexibility can go a long way. That they've apparently gotten through nearly a year in London post-apocalypse with no incidents but still haven't ~indulged~ is basically a crime. They've more than paid their relaxation dues. ]
Oh, why not? We'll make a little night of it. [ Aziraphale does a thing with his eyebrows that he does when he thinks he's being cool. Or, possibly, when he's planning to do shitty magic tricks even worse than usual and that's included in his idea of making a little night of getting stoned. Only time will tell. ] Of course, if you think that's going to be the time you finally win me over on sleeping, best brace yourself for a disappointment.
[ Tried it in Wilderlands, not comfy and didn't even have a choice about it, 0/10. ]
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Tragic.]
There you go, thwarting my plans again. [Said in the driest tone imaginable. He didn't have any secret plot, he just wants to vibe.] I know well and good how you feel about sleep.
[He doesn't understand it, but he knows.]
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Then all's well that ends well. [ And what ends well is getting some zero-stakes quality time. Wonderful. ] Dan seems a lovely man, I'm sure he'll give it his best effort.
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If he's married to the Easter Bunny, who's apparently all about Spring — [This is him somewhat admitting he did research. Don't @ him.] — they ought to be able to figure out growing a plant.
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One can always hope. [ Hope is, by his accounting, always free of charge. ] We'll see what the word is once everyone's gotten settled? They may have a bit of home-territory business to see to.
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[Honestly, the reason he's been doing research is because he feels like there isn't much else to do. Despite not interacting closely with humans, he did spend a lot of time around them, and it's weird to not be able to just go to a bar and order a few rounds.]
We'll likely be here for a while yet.
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Mature enough not to have either of those for now. Wouldn't be very becoming in the face of the very important reason they were brought here, after all. He'll see how that progresses.
No rush. There's time. Whether they're used to feeling like they've got it or not. And they're together in this, and that's. That's been nice. Same side. Saving humanity. Again. ]
Nature of tackling a very large and mysterious problem. [ The increasingly tangled webs literally everything weaves... what a time. ] But at least we're tackling it from some bang-up accommodations.
[ One day they'll go back home and he'll steal a book to take with him probably. ]
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Things that Crowley thinks in a stupid moment but is smart enough not to say out loud.]
If they'd just brought us here as we usually are, we could've had it handled already.
[He hasn't even checked if he can stop time, but he doesn't think he can and isn't keen on wasting the energy to find out. There's definitely a feeling of — less, though, a sense that he isn't firing on all cylinders. Metaphorically.]
It's a sight better than what you've told me of the last place you were at.
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Strange phenomenon. Being believed in, supposedly, enough to be pulled here at all, yet also turning up lacking. He was pared down even more in the Wilderlands, but that felt much more like a straightforward lack of connection. Having his metaphorical tether handed over to something else, for better or worse. ]
Oh, it's much nicer. We were tromping around in the elements for ages before we found that base of operations. Mud, foraging, getting into scrapes, that sort of thing. [ Bitchy lil handwave. The kind that says "I've grown far too domesticated, so the tromping around got very old very quickly." ] Superb quill craftsmanship, though.
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You couldn't pay me to go tromping around in the woods again. [Not that Aziraphale had a choice in the matter, but it's the sentiment that counts.] Remember the bloody Arthurian times? The armour was awful, it was always damp, everything smelled like horse. Even when you'd not been near a horse for weeks. Everything just smelled like horse.
[He suffered so much, and for what? To look cool and mysterious?]
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Ohh, the Arthurian days weren't all bad. Every era's had its ups and its downs.
[ Lots of gentle courtly wooing, drama, interesting aesthetic. Very important. Not especially comfortable, though. ]
But it did largely smell of horses, didn't it? Inescapable, really.
you ever just.... assume you finished writing a tag when it turns out you didn't
Alright for you to say, you were mostly just swanning about in a castle with Arthur. Drinking wine and eating roast boar while I was freezing my arse off in the mud.
[Being the Black Knight was kinda fun but also it kinda sucked.]
its one of my hobbies
That does explain a bit about your poor mood. Jolly well difficult to foment in those conditions.
[ see he remembers when he learned what fomenting was :) ]
high five us
[It usually is, during times of inequality. Arthur might have been a bit more decent than a lot of other rulers, but it didn't address a whole lot of pre-existing issues.]
Far too many horses, though.
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Veeeeery soulful eyes, horses. Majestic animal. Bone structure aside, obviously. [ He doesn't know why that got through quality assurance with no notes. ] If I never have to ride one again, it'll still be too soon.
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[Falling is the only appropriate punishment for the creation of horses. Are they useful for humans? Of course, but surely there were better options.]
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[ Would not be surprised if the lead designer went to superhell. Oh, maybe they didn't get a chance to finish up first... Aziraphale never thought to ask. ]
Just as well we're dealing more with magical reindeer in these parts.
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[It's possible that's just the extra fur, but that doesn't matter to Crowley.]
I actually spent some time with the Sámi people, back in the day. They had the right idea, using reindeer instead of horses.
[Surprising no one, this conversation has gotten entirely off track.]
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[ He splits the fingers of his non- drink holding hand to look more like a hoof shape, as though it needed explaining, or as though the gesture itself would help explain anything even if it needed the explaining. This is just what he knows about reindeer. Better hooves for traction.
He never was deeply involved in the actual design process of creatures as much as he was present for the designing. His properly involved job was lined up for after rollout. ]
Oh, how was that? Lovely culture. Gorgeous weaving work.
[ If the children related to heroes who could stay on track, neither of them would be here right now. ]
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It was a well needed break from the Romans, I'll tell you that. [It's no secret that Crowley was miserable in Rome. Even Aziraphale knows that, having found him trying to drown himself in liquor.] They were very clever, didn't have much access to metals back then, so they were using bone and antler for all sorts of tools. I've probably got some antler hair pins kicking around somewhere.
[Crowley doesn't hold onto things, not the way Aziraphale does, but occasionally an item or two will be worth keeping, especially if there's any sentimental value.
Not that he'd ever admit that.]
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Good to hear he got a little break after Rome. Bit of a rough one for him, that. Aziraphale's expression softens out. ]
If you find them again, you'll have to show me.
[ Once we're home goes without saying. ]
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[He makes a point to ruffle his own hair, in case Aziraphale needed the demonstration on how short it is these days.]
But I'll try to scare 'em up when we get home.
[There are a few storage units dotted around London that Crowley owns, they might be somewhere in one of those. This is obviously very important.]
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Splendid. [ Rare Crowley souvenir showcase... Aziraphale tucks it very carefully into his mental list of things to look forward to.
It's not much of a list, not terribly long. The sort of thing an eternal being cobbles together during a few months drafted out into some other reality right on the tail of thwarting the apocalypse, largely, because he hadn't quite worked up the nerve to dare to make that list beforehand. Scattered little collection of items, most of which have Crowley's name attached.
Café where Crowley might like the coffee. A museum display he'd like to listen to Crowley complain about, standing next to him. Stroll through the park with Crowley, or maybe a nice botanical garden, maybe take him by the arm for a minute. He could, he could call him on the phone and invite him over and neither of them would have to scrape together a whole imaginary pretext for why. Aziraphale doesn't know how that phone call will work, strictly speaking, without him sounding ridiculous or somehow managing to put a foot in his mouth.
Well. He doesn't know how to offer up most of those things without sounding ridiculous or managing to put a foot in his mouth, yet.
But he keeps it all in rotation, because he can learn. And he can learn how to tell Crowley that he's trying to learn, that he wants to learn, has wanted, will keep wanting, in the same way that part of the list is about trying to learn to feel like they really do have the time for it. Not borrowed, not a delay.
Which would be an easier hurdle if "retirement" didn't apparently tag them with "open for freelance recruitment" markers on some metaphysical level they're not aware of.
Spilled milk, though. ]
Is the longer hair back out of fashion, or were you just in for a bit of a changeup?
[ He'd kept a touch of length for a while there recently, and Ashtoreth, well, she'd certainly been well-coiffed. Could be that Crowley felt awfully boxed-in by that. Can't relate, as someone who plans to wear this same waistcoat in all forms and functions until it turns to dust.
Doesn't need to relate, even. That's what he has Crowley for. ]
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Because "I had something akin to a panic attack about the end of the world and subsequently stressed cleaned my apartment and cut my hair" is the full and actual truth, and is absolutely not what he's going to say to Aziraphale.
They don't talk about — emotions, not like that. Aziraphale made that abundantly clear in the aftermath of the world not ending, when he brushed right past the fact he'd found Crowley drunk out of his mind and crying about Aziraphale seemingly being gone. It was sort of a relief, not having to address it, but he also suspects that Aziraphale just doesn't want to deal with all those messy emotions, which is well within his rights. Satan knows Crowley doesn't want to deal with his own messy emotions, he's just stuck with them.]
Little of both, frankly. Suppose it was a bit symbolic, leaving Ashtoreth behind since I had no reason to keep playing that part.
[A sliver of the truth, as a treat.
There are more complicated aspects of even this, how Crowley felt about leaving Warlock, but they're definitely not going to get into that.]
Not thinking of giving it a try yourself, are you?
[This is a joke, they both know that isn't going to happen.]
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