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[Crowley makes a thoughtful sound re: the Horsemen, but he suspects that Aziraphale is right and the kids probably remember it as some odd dream, or have come up with a more logical explanation. It'll likely fade even for Adam, the longer he spends as just a regular kid and not the son of Satan.

That isn't the important part, though.]

You only like babies 'cause you can stop them from getting into things.

[Babies are, by far, more messy and sticky than 11 year olds, but it's a more controllable mess, typically, since they can't go running off anywhere.]

M'just imagining you with one of those baby slings the posh mums wear. You'd look ridiculous.

[But he's grinning about it, so ridiculous in a good way.]

That's only one of the reasons I like them.

[ But it is, in fact, a big reason. Feeling even slightly more in control of a situation. Containing the horrors. This bitch just loves to tote a baby around and infodump to them about the Punic Wars in a soothing voice. Captive audience. They don't even know what Carthage means. They're just confused little love-filled blobs.

Additionally: dismissive pbbt. ]

Ridiculous or efficiently free-handed?

[ Cannot confirm nor deny. But if he did use one he'd make it tartan. ]

Is the other one that they don't talk back?

[What's the point of having known Aziraphale for over 6000 years if he can't read him for fifth at the drop of a hat.]

Two things can be true. Plenty of ridiculous nonsense is also efficient.

[ Being read for filth makes Aziraphale look like he bit into a lemon. Hate that! Now he is not going to talk about how cute it is when he pulls a bright scarf out of his sleeve and babies are like WHOA HOLY SHIT because they're babies.

So there. ]

It can't be nonsense if it's efficient. Efficiency is all about serving a purpose.

[ Ridiculous... hmmmm, maybe he'll let slide. Because that obviously solely depends on whether or not he personally likes a thing. ]

[Somehow Crowley lost this round of banter without even realizing, what a terrible loss. He doesn't care about babies in the way most humans do, but he's not immune to cute shit, as much as he'd like to pretend that he is.]

Are you about to get into semantics with me, angel? We'll need much more whiskey if you're going to start that sort of argument.

[Not that they haven't had a several hour long argument about semantics before, they're just usually more well stocked.]

Oh, he threatens me with a good time.

[ Yeah okay, you gay bitch, we get it. ]

Well, we could always put a pin in it for later.

[There's a comment about showing Aziraphale a good time on the tip of his tongue, but that would be incredibly stupid.]

Oh, we're going to start scheduling arguments, now?

[That's a much safer thing to say.]

[ Every day a new suffering. ]

Noooo, don't be silly. [ The spark isn't gone!

They could break out into stupid bickering like this team's designated muppets at any point over any subject. Truly. ]

I just expect it's an argument we'll have again eventually regardless.

[ No such thing as a one time argument in this relationship. ]

[The absolute audacity of Aziraphale to call him silly. The absolute audacity of his stupid heart to get all fluttery about it.]

So just another one to add to the list, then?

[Based on the grin, he's very much teasing. Most of their arguments are only done for the sake of having an argument.

Things only get heated when it actually matters.]

I've always assumed you kept a list somewhere.

[This is a lie, he's just being a shit.]

[ Inasmuch as diary entries might count as a list, perhaps actually true. But it defeats the purpose of diaries to mention them willy-nilly. ]

Long list to make space for.

[ Normal things to sound delighted by. ]

Plenty of room in the shop, you could have a whole shelf for it.

[Like the collection of encyclopedias; just a neat row of books, full of arguments they'll need to get back to.]

I'll bear that in mind when we get home. Humans talk a lot about "self-publishing" now, don't they?

[ With everything from great disdain to great pride. So mysterious.

Aziraphale is hip. He's ready to make goofs and japes. ]

Nice big shelf. Give us another couple of centuries before I have to make room for a second one.

[This was a mistake, Crowley has made a mistake. Aziraphale is talking about clearing out space in the bookshop for books filled with their arguments for centuries to come.

It has him all aflutter, which is not the sort of thing a demon should be.]

Well, you'll certainly have to never let customers in the shop again if we do that. Satan forbid they go looking through those books.

[ Accidental romance level: 100.

Aziraphale is not hearing a downside in less customers. He's conceptualizing this lovely vague future concept entirely out of his reach or ability to achieve right now, which is a specialty of his. He's on the receiving end of the "we" and being like, Oh. ]

I don't expect they'd be able to make much sense of it. [ The word count and appendices of a Tolkien with the literary nonsense of a Carroll, only not entertaining unless you're in on thousands of years of inside jokes. ] They would be highly personal volumes, though, yes.

[There is a brief moment of a suspicious look, before Crowley gives a dramatic groan as a thought occurs to him. It's familiar, really. This preempting Aziraphale's nonsense.]

If you're about to tell me you taught yourself bloody shorthand, I don't want to hear it.

[It would be so on brand.]

[ Aziraphale's doubletake speaks volumes. ]

What's wrong with shorthand?

[HE KNEW IT.]

Nothing wrong with shorthand, I just know that you'd be all twee about it.

[What does that even mean? He's not sure how to explain without accidentally being rude but he'll try anyway.]

Bet you learned it the proper way 'cause you thought it was cute that humans came up with a code to write fast.

[ Math lady gif trying to figure out if that's meant as an insult and he needs to be offended or not.

He's pretty certain it's not. So he's just like ??? ]

It's fun to learn things the proper way once in a while. They put so much work into developing it.

[ There are so many different shorthand systems! It's neat! ]

[This would probably count as negging if Crowley didn't genuinely love that Aziraphale is like this.]

There's hundreds of dead languages you could use if you wanted to keep something from prying human eyes.

[ Words of affirmation in wolf's clothing. Bickering as a bespoke love gesture. All combined for the weirdest shared flirt language ever invented. ]

Well, yes, I very well could take the time to use a dead language. I could write it in invisible ink. I could put it in a secret compartment or lock it in a safe.

[ Maybe he has done that for something, somewhere, sometime. Who truly knows. As options go, they all sound very fun and exciting and ~noir~.

He does a fruity twirling his hand upward for emphasis gesture. ]

But I learned shorthand.

[Crowley listens to all of this with a shit-eating grin on his face.]

Exactly!

[This what his point all along, thank you!!]

You could've done all that, but you didn't, you learned some silly little fake language 'cause humans did it first. [There's a few incoherent noises as he waves a hand around, casting out for the words and not quite finding them.] I can't stand you.

[I can't stand you sounds an awful lot like I love you.]

[ Aziraphale has room in his heart to be both still mystified about why this is the whole point at all, it's just a thing he did versus things he didn't do, and also pleased he apparently totally got to said point by stating them.

He has room in his heart to be pleased about almost anything if Crowley is going to say it about him with that face and in that tone of voice, though, so. Maybe he'll just feel like a confused cat that happened to walk into a sunbeam about it. ]

You're ridiculous. [ And if that comes out a bit softened, fond, a bit I love you back, that's Aziraphale's business.

Insufferable, honestly. ] I thought you liked fake little human languages, anyway. They're a bit of fun.

[ Real secret agent nonsense. ]

[It does not, at any point, occur to Crowley that Aziraphale could have been offended about anything he said, mostly on account of trusting that Aziraphale knows him well enough to know that if he wanted to insult him, he'd do it properly.

There's also the part of him that assumes Aziraphale knows he's head over heels in love with him and is just too polite to say anything about it.]

That's different. [Very pointed. He even points.] It's different when I do it.

[No he will not elaborate <3]

[ LAUGHS. Not a whole laugh, more like a singular ha! that bubbles up. Teetering dangerously close to a harrumph, even.

Bitch! Please! ]

How, precisely, is it any different when you're doing it?

[Crowley puts on a haughty sort of attitude that he's copying almost entirely from Aziraphale. Because he's a bitch.]

If you don't already know, I'm not sure I could explain it to you.

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