✨ god's little wildcard ✨ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
oldbookshop) wrote2023-08-01 12:50 pm
oldbookshop) wrote2023-08-01 12:50 pm
INBOX | LONGESTNIGHT
text | audio | video | action
text | audio | video | action
[They agreed to wait before deciding whether or not to see how humans have interpreted them, and Crowley has mostly stuck to the agreement. Curiosity had eventually got the better of him, though, and he did a very surface level investigation to see what they're working with.
Turns out it's a TV show, a miniseries sort of deal, and from the summary it does, in fact, feature the both of them quite heavily. But that isn't what gets him. What sticks with him is the fact that every press or publicity photos contains humans who look remarkably like their counterparts in his universe.
He weighs up whether to discuss it with Aziraphale, wondering if he's sort of broken their agreement, but that was just about the media itself, not the cast or anything of the sort, so he's probably in the clear.
It's — weird to be able to just wander down the hall slightly to knock on Aziraphale's door, rather than heading to the bookshop, but at least it's easier.
He waits after the knock, because that's different, too. He can't just barge in the way he would at the shop, not when this is a much more private space. There's no random humans wandering in and out of a bedroom like they would in a shop.
He probably should've brought booze, and quickly summons a bottle of whiskey to tuck under his arm along with the few images he'd managed to print out.
This whole thing is so fucking weird.]
Turns out it's a TV show, a miniseries sort of deal, and from the summary it does, in fact, feature the both of them quite heavily. But that isn't what gets him. What sticks with him is the fact that every press or publicity photos contains humans who look remarkably like their counterparts in his universe.
He weighs up whether to discuss it with Aziraphale, wondering if he's sort of broken their agreement, but that was just about the media itself, not the cast or anything of the sort, so he's probably in the clear.
It's — weird to be able to just wander down the hall slightly to knock on Aziraphale's door, rather than heading to the bookshop, but at least it's easier.
He waits after the knock, because that's different, too. He can't just barge in the way he would at the shop, not when this is a much more private space. There's no random humans wandering in and out of a bedroom like they would in a shop.
He probably should've brought booze, and quickly summons a bottle of whiskey to tuck under his arm along with the few images he'd managed to print out.
This whole thing is so fucking weird.]
[ It's funny living in a world where Crowley stops to knock and waits for an answer. Funny in the odd way, funny in the sort of way Aziraphale's not actually sure he'll ever get used to it. Which he doesn't really like, per se, after years of being used to different patterns.
But, well.
At least he's learning to recognize the knock. And that's sort of nice, having another little new thing about Crowley he can learn. A silver lining. It means he doesn't have to spend so much time considering if he wants to pretend he's not in here. Of the people whose knocks Aziraphale will always open the door to, Crowley is top of the list.
And at least Crowley is here at all.
So Aziraphale commits to the New Pattern and answers the door, and he supplements the strangeness of that by immediately stepping back to hold it open for Crowley. Yes yes come in flappy little hand gesture, etc.
(Because the North Pole is so on brand for him, Aziraphale's largely left the bedroom as it was. An extra chair here, a desk there, a reasonably modest-- for him-- stack of books he's already borrowed out of the library. That sort of thing.
He has also already acquired a cardigan somehow because he needs layers to survive and that's science.) ]
Special occasion?
[ Whiskey occasion? Should he be excited or worried? ]
But, well.
At least he's learning to recognize the knock. And that's sort of nice, having another little new thing about Crowley he can learn. A silver lining. It means he doesn't have to spend so much time considering if he wants to pretend he's not in here. Of the people whose knocks Aziraphale will always open the door to, Crowley is top of the list.
And at least Crowley is here at all.
So Aziraphale commits to the New Pattern and answers the door, and he supplements the strangeness of that by immediately stepping back to hold it open for Crowley. Yes yes come in flappy little hand gesture, etc.
(Because the North Pole is so on brand for him, Aziraphale's largely left the bedroom as it was. An extra chair here, a desk there, a reasonably modest-- for him-- stack of books he's already borrowed out of the library. That sort of thing.
He has also already acquired a cardigan somehow because he needs layers to survive and that's science.) ]
Special occasion?
[ Whiskey occasion? Should he be excited or worried? ]
[It isn't the same as the bookshop, where he's felt so comfortable for so many decades, but he's been in this room enough times to make an immediate beeline towards the chair he's claimed as his own, pausing only to set the whiskey and his folder full of photos on the desk.
The folder had seemed like a good idea, so he could give Aziraphale the option to not see the photos, if he really doesn't want to.]
Right, so. [This is not a direct answer to Aziraphale's question, but his tone of voice and the way he drags a hand through his hair as he sits down might clue him in that it's a 'worried' kind of situation.] I've not gone back on our agreement, about the... story, but I got wondering about it and did a bit of digging. Turns out it's a bloody TV show and the actors they've got playing us bear an uncanny fucking resemblance.
[The hair is different, as is how they both... hold themselves, something deeper than just physical appearance, but it's still so very weird.]
There's photos in there. If you want to see.
The folder had seemed like a good idea, so he could give Aziraphale the option to not see the photos, if he really doesn't want to.]
Right, so. [This is not a direct answer to Aziraphale's question, but his tone of voice and the way he drags a hand through his hair as he sits down might clue him in that it's a 'worried' kind of situation.] I've not gone back on our agreement, about the... story, but I got wondering about it and did a bit of digging. Turns out it's a bloody TV show and the actors they've got playing us bear an uncanny fucking resemblance.
[The hair is different, as is how they both... hold themselves, something deeper than just physical appearance, but it's still so very weird.]
There's photos in there. If you want to see.
[ Ah. 'Worried' situation indeed.
Crowley's explanation takes Aziraphale's interest in this mystery folder from curious to Curious, capital-C, in the worst sort of way. He's wondered about it, of course. This story that's channeled them, supposedly. The threads it might follow, the form it might take, how they'd go about finding it if they decided to-- to verify it.
Trust Crowley to lay down a bit of the groundwork for that just by curious nature. ]
I suppose a book would have been too much to hope for.
[ Like he wouldn't just be insanely jealous of OG book Aziraphale's distinctly different vibe. That's neither here nor there. It's a safe starting touchstone, something to be a little genuinely put out about, to use to make the point that he's not going to bristle about this "bit of digging."
He picks up the folder. Weighs his little pros and cons about looking versus not. ]
Uncanny, is it.
[ Fuck it we ball, he opens it to start flipping through them. ]
Crowley's explanation takes Aziraphale's interest in this mystery folder from curious to Curious, capital-C, in the worst sort of way. He's wondered about it, of course. This story that's channeled them, supposedly. The threads it might follow, the form it might take, how they'd go about finding it if they decided to-- to verify it.
Trust Crowley to lay down a bit of the groundwork for that just by curious nature. ]
I suppose a book would have been too much to hope for.
[ Like he wouldn't just be insanely jealous of OG book Aziraphale's distinctly different vibe. That's neither here nor there. It's a safe starting touchstone, something to be a little genuinely put out about, to use to make the point that he's not going to bristle about this "bit of digging."
He picks up the folder. Weighs his little pros and cons about looking versus not. ]
Uncanny, is it.
[ Fuck it we ball, he opens it to start flipping through them. ]
[It is absolutely not a surprise that Aziraphale was hoping for a book, and Crowley can certainly see how one would be a lot less strange than seeing themselves portrayed on a screen by people who aren't them. On the other hand, books tend to come with internal narration, meaning that anyone who read it (including Aziraphale) would know what he was thinking, and that seems even more terrifying than anything.
It is something of a surprise that Aziraphale isn't cross with him, though perhaps he'd just invented that worry all by himself, so he won't look a gift horse in the mouth.]
Aside from the hair, it's like someone's parading around in our corporations.
[Their bodies aren't them but they sort of are but they really aren't and it's all very complicated.
Crowley is glad for his glasses, so he can watch Aziraphale's reaction without staring too obviously. He may also be holding his breath, but that's between him and God.]
It is something of a surprise that Aziraphale isn't cross with him, though perhaps he'd just invented that worry all by himself, so he won't look a gift horse in the mouth.]
Aside from the hair, it's like someone's parading around in our corporations.
[Their bodies aren't them but they sort of are but they really aren't and it's all very complicated.
Crowley is glad for his glasses, so he can watch Aziraphale's reaction without staring too obviously. He may also be holding his breath, but that's between him and God.]
[ Oh. Oh, it really is. Uncanny. Like someone's taken their physical bodies for a joyride, somehow.
Aziraphale stays on the top photo longest, head drawn back, brow furrowed, some reflexive mix of confusion and distaste while he processes.
The eyes are-- jarring. In the politest sense. His heart doesn't really know what to do with all that, because of course a human actor wouldn't have Crowley's eyes, the distinctive shape, the lovely shade of yellow, and he does love so many of the distinctive features Crowley has, but that doesn't brace much against seeing what's there.
(He tries not to think back. He really, really does. It's difficult, though, and Aziraphale isn't entirely successful about it.) ]
I don't think I care for this very much at all. [ Is the first thing he offers, faintly, before he's flipping through the rest of them in somewhat shorter order.
Unkempt, he thinks, both of them. Wrong hair aside. Too unkempt, too strangely dressed, too, too casual, too-- a lot of things. Not enough things. ]
Good Lord, they used to be children!
[ You ever just hold up a couple printouts of human actors throughout their long work histories with all the offense in the world, as though it's their personal fault they're humans who grew up and not beings who spawned wholecloth in their forties?
Like, what the fuck is this. ]
Aziraphale stays on the top photo longest, head drawn back, brow furrowed, some reflexive mix of confusion and distaste while he processes.
The eyes are-- jarring. In the politest sense. His heart doesn't really know what to do with all that, because of course a human actor wouldn't have Crowley's eyes, the distinctive shape, the lovely shade of yellow, and he does love so many of the distinctive features Crowley has, but that doesn't brace much against seeing what's there.
(He tries not to think back. He really, really does. It's difficult, though, and Aziraphale isn't entirely successful about it.) ]
I don't think I care for this very much at all. [ Is the first thing he offers, faintly, before he's flipping through the rest of them in somewhat shorter order.
Unkempt, he thinks, both of them. Wrong hair aside. Too unkempt, too strangely dressed, too, too casual, too-- a lot of things. Not enough things. ]
Good Lord, they used to be children!
[ You ever just hold up a couple printouts of human actors throughout their long work histories with all the offense in the world, as though it's their personal fault they're humans who grew up and not beings who spawned wholecloth in their forties?
Like, what the fuck is this. ]
[For as well as he knows Aziraphale, for all that he's frequently gambled his safety on the angel's predictability, Crowley really wasn't sure what reaction to expect in response to all this. It's so far outside the realm of experience that there was really no way to guess.
A mix of confusion and distaste does seem fair, though, and it was roughly how he felt about the entire business, too. They aren't humans, with relatives who look similar; this is an entirely new situation for the both of them and it's so incredibly odd.
And yet, despite it all, Aziraphale complains about them being children and Crowley can only laugh, startled and delighted.]
That's usually how it goes with humans, yes. That's what we'd look like, if we'd ever been young. Not sure it suits me.
[He was too..... pretty.
Same for Aziraphale, but Aziraphale is allowed to be pretty, he's an angel.]
A mix of confusion and distaste does seem fair, though, and it was roughly how he felt about the entire business, too. They aren't humans, with relatives who look similar; this is an entirely new situation for the both of them and it's so incredibly odd.
And yet, despite it all, Aziraphale complains about them being children and Crowley can only laugh, startled and delighted.]
That's usually how it goes with humans, yes. That's what we'd look like, if we'd ever been young. Not sure it suits me.
[He was too..... pretty.
Same for Aziraphale, but Aziraphale is allowed to be pretty, he's an angel.]
[ Oh to have such a nice laugh and to use it to be so mean to his beloved friend, making this whole thing feel ever so slightly less-- whatever it is. Impossible. Terrible. Confusing.
How dare. He's a menace. Aziraphale loves him. So he has himself a bitchy dramatic sigh about that. ]
Nor me. [ Physical presentation is a funny old thing. Not difficult for them to change around at all, as needed or desired. Six thousand years on Earth, these sorts of things will happen, though he always goes back to his preferred default.
Just containers, really, probably oughtn't be attached. He's had changes suggested, goodness knows. But, well, his preferred default is comfortable for him. He likes it. He likes to think it makes humans comfortable, too. And Crowley, for whatever that's worth, for all that he can hardly ask him that much.
Apparent age never really factored into the equation even when he has needed to change things up a bit, though. It's so strange. So humany.
Aziraphale sits down at his desk. He starts re-foldering the pictures in what he thinks looks most like chronological order even though there aren't a ton of them. Mostly for something to do with his hands. ]
And yours even has your exact side profile... [ Gay. ] Gosh, that's spooky, isn't it?
How dare. He's a menace. Aziraphale loves him. So he has himself a bitchy dramatic sigh about that. ]
Nor me. [ Physical presentation is a funny old thing. Not difficult for them to change around at all, as needed or desired. Six thousand years on Earth, these sorts of things will happen, though he always goes back to his preferred default.
Just containers, really, probably oughtn't be attached. He's had changes suggested, goodness knows. But, well, his preferred default is comfortable for him. He likes it. He likes to think it makes humans comfortable, too. And Crowley, for whatever that's worth, for all that he can hardly ask him that much.
Apparent age never really factored into the equation even when he has needed to change things up a bit, though. It's so strange. So humany.
Aziraphale sits down at his desk. He starts re-foldering the pictures in what he thinks looks most like chronological order even though there aren't a ton of them. Mostly for something to do with his hands. ]
And yours even has your exact side profile... [ Gay. ] Gosh, that's spooky, isn't it?
[What's the point of Crowley if not to do something a bit silly that helps ground Aziraphale?]
I dunno, things got a tad iffy on occasion — [Sorry Michael but some of your styling...... was bad] — but yours was very cherubic when he was young.
[Ways to say that he thinks the actor was very pretty without actually using words that imply physical attraction because that would be super weird, even if he does think he's quite attractive. He wouldn't want Aziraphale to be that young or skinny, but it suited the man.]
S'very spooky. Not in the good way. [He usually likes spooky!] They've both got wives, too, and kids. We haven't even got proper DNA.
[Wives. What a concept.]
I dunno, things got a tad iffy on occasion — [Sorry Michael but some of your styling...... was bad] — but yours was very cherubic when he was young.
[Ways to say that he thinks the actor was very pretty without actually using words that imply physical attraction because that would be super weird, even if he does think he's quite attractive. He wouldn't want Aziraphale to be that young or skinny, but it suited the man.]
S'very spooky. Not in the good way. [He usually likes spooky!] They've both got wives, too, and kids. We haven't even got proper DNA.
[Wives. What a concept.]
[ A little snort. Prime application of an angel pun, as a treat. Silly. ]
We can split all the uprights and say jolly good for two very charming-looking young men.
[ For whom youth was a design feature. That's fine enough to say, he thinks. Charming. Handsome, yes, both of them, sure.
"Wives and kids" sideswipes him. God, these actors really are real human men who have DNA and families... these men are just out there in the world somewhere. With their wives and children.
Actors! Who auditioned! Got parts playing them, at about the right physical ages, and memorized a script and rehearsed and got costumed and filmed whatever bits they had on camera. It went on television. ]
Crowley, we are dealing with odds that would have given Agnes Nutter a run for her money. Might have run circles around her! It's ridiculous. I'm, I'm not sure if I'm excited or horrified.
[ He closes the folder but then he isn't sure what to do with his hands so he just kinda hovers them over the desk for a second. We are clearing the brain whiteboard. We are processing.
Every passing second, he's madder that they're not from a book because part of him wants to absolutely dissect the thing. Aziraphale is very normal. ]
We can split all the uprights and say jolly good for two very charming-looking young men.
[ For whom youth was a design feature. That's fine enough to say, he thinks. Charming. Handsome, yes, both of them, sure.
"Wives and kids" sideswipes him. God, these actors really are real human men who have DNA and families... these men are just out there in the world somewhere. With their wives and children.
Actors! Who auditioned! Got parts playing them, at about the right physical ages, and memorized a script and rehearsed and got costumed and filmed whatever bits they had on camera. It went on television. ]
Crowley, we are dealing with odds that would have given Agnes Nutter a run for her money. Might have run circles around her! It's ridiculous. I'm, I'm not sure if I'm excited or horrified.
[ He closes the folder but then he isn't sure what to do with his hands so he just kinda hovers them over the desk for a second. We are clearing the brain whiteboard. We are processing.
Every passing second, he's madder that they're not from a book because part of him wants to absolutely dissect the thing. Aziraphale is very normal. ]
[The most important part of what happened here is that Aziraphale used the word charming-looking to describe someone who looks exactly like him. Sort of. It's not entirely there but he thinks it's close enough to count as a win.
What's also important is that he can practically see Aziraphale's brain having Some Trouble with processing all this, which is equally fair as his earlier reaction, since Crowley is sort of having the same trouble. He's solving his problems by turning his focus outward, onto Aziraphale, rather than thinking too hard.]
She'd have mentioned it, surely, if she'd seen it coming.
[He's going to lever himself out of his chair so he can grab two glasses and pour them both a generous amount of whiskey.
He presses one glass into Aziraphale's hands.]
Have a drink, it'll make it easier.
What's also important is that he can practically see Aziraphale's brain having Some Trouble with processing all this, which is equally fair as his earlier reaction, since Crowley is sort of having the same trouble. He's solving his problems by turning his focus outward, onto Aziraphale, rather than thinking too hard.]
She'd have mentioned it, surely, if she'd seen it coming.
[He's going to lever himself out of his chair so he can grab two glasses and pour them both a generous amount of whiskey.
He presses one glass into Aziraphale's hands.]
Have a drink, it'll make it easier.
Hard to say, really. She had limited time and quite a lot of other issues to cover.
[ Like the apocalypse, and "Beta Max," and telling him his cocoa went off, and saving their lives.
If she'd been able to publish more, would her vision have followed them still? Or just stayed broad, worldwide, maybe happened to include something relevant to them here and there? Could it have even extended out into other realities? ]
No, no, yes, you're right, you may have a point. Due consideration. [ About the mentioning or the drinking? Yes. Both are good. Will in fact be having that drink, thank you Crowley. ] Oh, but it's fascinating. Spooky-fascinating. Enthralling.
[ The entire march of human history and linear time and genetics to lead to two eerily identical men playing their roles in a story that someone apparently channeled from beyond the ~veil~. Fucking insane. ]
[ Like the apocalypse, and "Beta Max," and telling him his cocoa went off, and saving their lives.
If she'd been able to publish more, would her vision have followed them still? Or just stayed broad, worldwide, maybe happened to include something relevant to them here and there? Could it have even extended out into other realities? ]
No, no, yes, you're right, you may have a point. Due consideration. [ About the mentioning or the drinking? Yes. Both are good. Will in fact be having that drink, thank you Crowley. ] Oh, but it's fascinating. Spooky-fascinating. Enthralling.
[ The entire march of human history and linear time and genetics to lead to two eerily identical men playing their roles in a story that someone apparently channeled from beyond the ~veil~. Fucking insane. ]
[The whole book of prophecy situation is something that Crowley tries not to think about for a variety of reasons, only some of them having to do with the bookshop fire and subsequent awful drive he made to Tadfield with the book in tow.
Despite being uncertain how Aziraphale would take all this weirdness, he finds that he isn't all the surprised by the word choices. Fascinating. Enthralling. Like the book of prophecy, it's something so outside their realm of experience that of course that angel wants to dig in and study it; there's a kind of sense to it, when they know so much about the world, the few things that are Other tend to be exceptionally interesting.]
You have to wonder how it all shook out. They've got Fates here, I think I heard them mentioned, so I suppose it could be their work.
[Fate is another thing he has complicated feelings about, but it's easier to talk about in a world that isn't theirs. Maybe they knew this was coming and made sure the actors would be in place, but that's a lot of threads to weave, he has no idea whether it would be possible.]
Shame we can't go meet them.
[He's curious, to see what kind of people they are.]
Despite being uncertain how Aziraphale would take all this weirdness, he finds that he isn't all the surprised by the word choices. Fascinating. Enthralling. Like the book of prophecy, it's something so outside their realm of experience that of course that angel wants to dig in and study it; there's a kind of sense to it, when they know so much about the world, the few things that are Other tend to be exceptionally interesting.]
You have to wonder how it all shook out. They've got Fates here, I think I heard them mentioned, so I suppose it could be their work.
[Fate is another thing he has complicated feelings about, but it's easier to talk about in a world that isn't theirs. Maybe they knew this was coming and made sure the actors would be in place, but that's a lot of threads to weave, he has no idea whether it would be possible.]
Shame we can't go meet them.
[He's curious, to see what kind of people they are.]
Ooh. Fates.
[ He says it like ~Fates~. He says it in cursive. Eventually he'll probably find himself a notebook just to write down little things like that and pretend he can solve the meta narrative that way.
Fates.
Seems like an awful lot of work, for how many beings have been pulled here. New Guardians, he supposes that's what they're calling them. If the shoe fits, as they say. ]
That is a shame. It might be for the best, of course. [ Given the circumstances. ] If they're career actors, I'm sure we'll still be able to find plenty of information about them. Should we so choose. Of course.
[ "We." In this modern era it would probably mostly take computers, so really he means Crowley. ]
[ He says it like ~Fates~. He says it in cursive. Eventually he'll probably find himself a notebook just to write down little things like that and pretend he can solve the meta narrative that way.
Fates.
Seems like an awful lot of work, for how many beings have been pulled here. New Guardians, he supposes that's what they're calling them. If the shoe fits, as they say. ]
That is a shame. It might be for the best, of course. [ Given the circumstances. ] If they're career actors, I'm sure we'll still be able to find plenty of information about them. Should we so choose. Of course.
[ "We." In this modern era it would probably mostly take computers, so really he means Crowley. ]
You can probably chat to them if you're prepared for a headache.
[The Fates, that is. He remembers them being mentioned when Jack was giving them all the rundown of the situation, so they can probably be tracked down for a conversation, it's just that he figures they'll be the cryptic and annoying sort.
Aziraphale is used to Heaven's nonsense and deciphering weird prophecy books, so he may have better luck that Crowley would. Crowley would likely just get fed up and threaten to bite someone.]
I've already had a look at some of their work. They've both done a lot on stage, including some Shakespeare. They've both played Romeo and Hamlet, actually. Yours has done Henry V, mine's done Richard II and Much Ado, which is brilliant, I've always loved that one.
[Note to self: find out who was the better Hamlet, just to have a petty competition about nothing important.]
[The Fates, that is. He remembers them being mentioned when Jack was giving them all the rundown of the situation, so they can probably be tracked down for a conversation, it's just that he figures they'll be the cryptic and annoying sort.
Aziraphale is used to Heaven's nonsense and deciphering weird prophecy books, so he may have better luck that Crowley would. Crowley would likely just get fed up and threaten to bite someone.]
I've already had a look at some of their work. They've both done a lot on stage, including some Shakespeare. They've both played Romeo and Hamlet, actually. Yours has done Henry V, mine's done Richard II and Much Ado, which is brilliant, I've always loved that one.
[Note to self: find out who was the better Hamlet, just to have a petty competition about nothing important.]
Might do.
[ Will he get anything concrete from it? Maybe not. But it's a thought.
Anyway wait hang on forget all the rest of it- ]
Ohhh, they've both done Shakespeare. [ Like Crowley just said yes good job registering it. But consider: BABE,,,,,,,,, that's like Our Guy. They both played Hamlet!!! BABE THAT'S OUR PLAY,,, ] That's so lovely.
[ It's adorable no he loves this ]
[ Will he get anything concrete from it? Maybe not. But it's a thought.
Anyway wait hang on forget all the rest of it- ]
Ohhh, they've both done Shakespeare. [ Like Crowley just said yes good job registering it. But consider: BABE,,,,,,,,, that's like Our Guy. They both played Hamlet!!! BABE THAT'S OUR PLAY,,, ] That's so lovely.
[ It's adorable no he loves this ]
Thought you'd get a kick out of that.
[He's pretending this is about Aziraphale's fondness for Will and definitely not anything to do with how Crowley miracled Hamlet to be one of the most popular of his plays, just because Aziraphale made sad eyes at him.]
I'm not sure if they've recorded any of them, I got sidetracked looking at all those bloody photos, but if you're curious I can look into it.
[Aziraphale might like to live vicariously through these men, for something meaningless like acting on the stage in a Shakespeare production.
Plus, it might be a good way to ease into watching the actual bloody show about themselves.]
[He's pretending this is about Aziraphale's fondness for Will and definitely not anything to do with how Crowley miracled Hamlet to be one of the most popular of his plays, just because Aziraphale made sad eyes at him.]
I'm not sure if they've recorded any of them, I got sidetracked looking at all those bloody photos, but if you're curious I can look into it.
[Aziraphale might like to live vicariously through these men, for something meaningless like acting on the stage in a Shakespeare production.
Plus, it might be a good way to ease into watching the actual bloody show about themselves.]
[ An undefeated pretending champion if ever there was one. ]
Please do. I'm very curious.
[ Hmm. It could almost sort of be like having a free pass to openly stare at Crowley's face for a very long time.
Not as nice as the real thing, of course, but still sort of nice. Novel, even. That's a bonus, surely. ]
Oh, I hope it doesn't turn out he wrote them differently in this reality. They're so nice the way they are.
[ He'll have to find a collection to go through to make sure he doesn't get jumpscared. Just in case. (What a relief it will be to find Shakespeare reliable as ever, considering he doesn't own any of his original souvenirs anymore.) He ought to check up on so many different authors and titles, but the nice thing about not looking is not having to know for certain what actually is different. ]
Please do. I'm very curious.
[ Hmm. It could almost sort of be like having a free pass to openly stare at Crowley's face for a very long time.
Not as nice as the real thing, of course, but still sort of nice. Novel, even. That's a bonus, surely. ]
Oh, I hope it doesn't turn out he wrote them differently in this reality. They're so nice the way they are.
[ He'll have to find a collection to go through to make sure he doesn't get jumpscared. Just in case. (What a relief it will be to find Shakespeare reliable as ever, considering he doesn't own any of his original souvenirs anymore.) He ought to check up on so many different authors and titles, but the nice thing about not looking is not having to know for certain what actually is different. ]
[New Task Unlocked: spend several hours reviewing Shakespeare plays featuring these actors to make sure there's nothing that might bother Aziraphale in them.]
It's Shakespeare, it'd be weird to change it.
[There are millions of variations in the entire multivetse but Crowley has decided that Shakespeare is too important to change.]
You know what else? It isn't just the two of us, everyone else looks exactly how they're supposed to, angels, demons, all the humans. Even the bloody dog. Obviously the ones playing demons have make up and the like, since their faces aren't actually rotting off, but underneath all that it's the same bloody face.
It's Shakespeare, it'd be weird to change it.
[There are millions of variations in the entire multivetse but Crowley has decided that Shakespeare is too important to change.]
You know what else? It isn't just the two of us, everyone else looks exactly how they're supposed to, angels, demons, all the humans. Even the bloody dog. Obviously the ones playing demons have make up and the like, since their faces aren't actually rotting off, but underneath all that it's the same bloody face.
It would.
[ How smug will Aziraphale be about the potent combo of both Hamlet becoming popular in this world without any miraculous intervention whatsoever and that meaning that Hamlet back home is extra special because Crowley made it popular for him? Remains to be seen.
This is such a roller coaster of a conversation. It contains so many multitudes. ]
I suppose that... that stands to reason. If we're accurate. [ In the grand scheme of things. He appreciates Crowley not including those photographs on top of everything, honestly, that's a Lot. ] Maybe I won't bother the Fates just yet. At this rate, I can't imagine they've had a spare moment in millennia.
[ How smug will Aziraphale be about the potent combo of both Hamlet becoming popular in this world without any miraculous intervention whatsoever and that meaning that Hamlet back home is extra special because Crowley made it popular for him? Remains to be seen.
This is such a roller coaster of a conversation. It contains so many multitudes. ]
I suppose that... that stands to reason. If we're accurate. [ In the grand scheme of things. He appreciates Crowley not including those photographs on top of everything, honestly, that's a Lot. ] Maybe I won't bother the Fates just yet. At this rate, I can't imagine they've had a spare moment in millennia.
[It does stand to reason, although maybe there was something in whether or not they're here that influences how the whole weird situation plays out. It's all guess work at the end of the day.
To be fair, a lot of their existence has been guess work. Earth didn't come with an instruction manual.]
I feel terrible for the bloke who played Hastur.
[Since Hastur is, you know, ugly as sin.
This whole thing may be partially a diversion tactic for what comes next, because he's been swirling it around in his thoughts since first looking into the show, and should warn Aziraphale.]
So, hm. [He's just gonna polish off the rest of his whiskey.] We ought to prepare ourselves for the fact our roles in this show are larger than we'd hoped.
[If there's this much press about them, and he's found a lot, they definitely aren't minor side characters.
What an odd concept to consider.]
To be fair, a lot of their existence has been guess work. Earth didn't come with an instruction manual.]
I feel terrible for the bloke who played Hastur.
[Since Hastur is, you know, ugly as sin.
This whole thing may be partially a diversion tactic for what comes next, because he's been swirling it around in his thoughts since first looking into the show, and should warn Aziraphale.]
So, hm. [He's just gonna polish off the rest of his whiskey.] We ought to prepare ourselves for the fact our roles in this show are larger than we'd hoped.
[If there's this much press about them, and he's found a lot, they definitely aren't minor side characters.
What an odd concept to consider.]
[ Vague "I am not agreeing outright because that would be rude to the human in question but also I do agree so there you have it" noise. ]
I just don't see how that's possible.
[ Aziraphale brings an in-denial energy to the club that the truthers hate to see. ]
Not to discredit our, our intentions or contributions by any means, obviously, but-- [ But??? ] I mean, assuming Armageddon is the story, and why shouldn't it be...
[ I mean it's the narrative surrounding ONE thwarted apocalypse, Crowley. How many scenes could we possibly have in service of that? Four? Five?
We spent eleven years shepherding the wrong boy. ]
I just don't see how that's possible.
[ Aziraphale brings an in-denial energy to the club that the truthers hate to see. ]
Not to discredit our, our intentions or contributions by any means, obviously, but-- [ But??? ] I mean, assuming Armageddon is the story, and why shouldn't it be...
[ I mean it's the narrative surrounding ONE thwarted apocalypse, Crowley. How many scenes could we possibly have in service of that? Four? Five?
We spent eleven years shepherding the wrong boy. ]
[Things he definitely isn't shocked by: Aziraphale's decision to argue with what he's saying because he doesn't want to acknowledge the truth.]
Armageddon's the story, you're not wrong on that.
[There's so much he isn't sure how to say. His face scrunches up a little, the way it does when he's trying to work through his words, but he distracts himself by getting up again to pour himself another glass of whiskey. (He'll top up Aziraphale's glass, too).
Rather than sitting back down, he wanders over to the window for a casual lean. It's easier if there's some distance.]
It likely — matters to humans, that we tried. Even if we cocked it up from day one.
[They still tried to save the world. He can sort of see why humans would latch onto that, when the story of the apocalypse bled through.]
Armageddon's the story, you're not wrong on that.
[There's so much he isn't sure how to say. His face scrunches up a little, the way it does when he's trying to work through his words, but he distracts himself by getting up again to pour himself another glass of whiskey. (He'll top up Aziraphale's glass, too).
Rather than sitting back down, he wanders over to the window for a casual lean. It's easier if there's some distance.]
It likely — matters to humans, that we tried. Even if we cocked it up from day one.
[They still tried to save the world. He can sort of see why humans would latch onto that, when the story of the apocalypse bled through.]
[ An angel works so hard to perceived in such a certain way by humanity, and for what. To be perceived in his private moments with his friend regardless? Surely not.
God. How much more than bookends are they? Crowley wouldn't bring it up if it he didn't get the impression that they're-- at least somewhat significant in this show. How deep does the rabbit hole go? What have humans in this reality been seeing of them?
A bit faintly: ]
Suppose that makes them and us, then.
[ Because it did matter. The trying. Whatever else there is to be said, it did matter. ]
God. How much more than bookends are they? Crowley wouldn't bring it up if it he didn't get the impression that they're-- at least somewhat significant in this show. How deep does the rabbit hole go? What have humans in this reality been seeing of them?
A bit faintly: ]
Suppose that makes them and us, then.
[ Because it did matter. The trying. Whatever else there is to be said, it did matter. ]
[It's the earnestness of it all that makes him want to climb the bloody walls. It's the fact that he should hate it but doesn't and that only leaves him confused and frustrated about how terrible of a demon he is. It's the fact that it matters to Aziraphale, that they tried, that he tried.]
We probably need to watch it. Not right now, but I don't reckon we can avoid it forever.
[As much as he'd like to. It's going to eat at him, all the possibilities, and it might be better to just rip the bandaid off.]
We probably need to watch it. Not right now, but I don't reckon we can avoid it forever.
[As much as he'd like to. It's going to eat at him, all the possibilities, and it might be better to just rip the bandaid off.]
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