LONGESTNIGHT | mortifying ordeal 2k24

[oldbookshop]

[ We're out here... we're at it. Snacks on lock. Beverages even more on lock because how else are they supposed to be expected to get through this. A watch setup that they can be sure no one else will wander in on, because that would make this even weirder.

(Aziraphale was mostly involved with the snacks and drinks, and not at all involved with any sort of tech setup. He's got a little notebook and a stubby pencil in case he needs to jot things down.)

They've agreed on their basic ground rules terms, whatever those look like. Who even truly knows. Probably some no-questions-asked "look away from this" allowances or "don't bring this up until we're done with this ordeal please" codewords or whatever. Maybe there's no real rules and this is the wild west. It's our world to create tbh.

But at least they can be emotionally flayed for public consumption in a warm cozy workshop environment. ]

Comments

[demonicmiracle]

Hardly need it with humans, I suppose.

[Since Aziraphale is usually perfectly capable of handling humans by being polite and off-putting. He remembers hearing about those mafia blokes who wanted to buy the shop; a couple of them ended up completely turning their lives around, which could only be Aziraphale's work.]

If they show it, they've missed a fair bit so far.

[It makes sense that not everything could be included, considering budget and time constraints, but he is curious about the choices and how it works with the whole magic of this world.

Probably silly to get bogged down in that, though.]

[oldbookshop]

[ He makes an agreeable noise. Humans are usually easy and there have definitely been some bits missed. ]

Suppose it's a very long timeline to fit into one brain. They probably lost a few things along the way. [ Barely scratched the surface on their existences as a whole, really. Not to mention all the humans and the Horsemen that the story keeps track of as well.

There's only so much it's likely fair to expect. ]

Not sure how to feel about what they kept in favor of all that.

[ Humans have literally watched this... like. There's no recovery. ]

[demonicmiracle]

It was actually two of them, apparently. For the original.

[The book that they can't fucking read because it isn't about them technically, just a similar version of themselves. There's a tiny part of him that wants those versions to show up so he can ask to read the damn book, but there's a significantly larger part of him that knows he would not cope well with another version of himself.

He doesn't even want to consider the implications of another, slightly different Aziraphale.]

Can't speak to why they kept what they kept. Must be some reasoning, but I suppose the humans liked it well enough that we're here.

[oldbookshop]

Oh. That's nice. [ He wonders who they were. Something to look into for fun, maybe.

It's also nice that humans liked it, and them, sort of. He supposes. Rather be back home where they left off, but still. Doesn't hurt having a... a mission of sorts to work with in the meantime. ]

Should we have been paying more attention to all these bits with the Horsemen, do you think?

[ Because he absolutely has not been. He doesn't plan on doing. He's just wondering on principle. ]

[demonicmiracle]

Have you not been paying attention?

[The question is asked with fond amusement rather than any judgement. It isn't as if they won't be able to access all this information again, so there's no harm done if he isn't paying attention.]

Did you ever meet any of them? Before Tadfield.

[oldbookshop]

[ Aziraphale's silence on the attention he's paid is deafening. Maybe if he's supposed to pay attention to everything, this show shouldn't be technically showing him Crowley during important moments from all new angles?

It doesn't seem like they were doing any more than their usual, anyway. Brought in to be introduced and all that. ]

Oh, we crossed paths here and there. All work-related, of course. [ Whether on one end or on both. Never a pleasant occasion. ] Hazards of everyone operating on the same playing field, I suppose.

[ Death turned up most, statistically, but he imagines that's obvious. ]

I can't say we socialized much.

[demonicmiracle]

I wasn't thinking you'd had tea with them.

[They aren't really the sort to sit down for tea, and Aziraphale isn't the sort to entertain the personifications of humanity's worst.

It is kind of funny to imagine War or Death sitting in the bookshop with a delicate teacup.]

Pollution's actually not a half-bad conversationalist. A bit odd, but hard to blame them when they're...

[Insert one fruity hand gesture.

You know how it is.]

[oldbookshop]

[ Another day, another time Aziraphale clarified for nothing. He has no plans to ever stop with that, though, because it means Crowley can make a comment about it and Aziraphale can give him a bitchy look for making a comment. ]

If I see them again, I'll have to keep that in mind. All due respect, but not half-bad might be a step up from the rest.

[ He can work with "odd" if he has to. And oftentimes when he doesn't have to. ]

[demonicmiracle]

[How else would he have earned a bitchy look if Aziraphale hadn't clarified in the first place?

Checkmate, atheists.]

Hopefully neither of us will run into any of them soon. Still not sure what to make of Death being there in the park, but he's always been an odd one.

[It had felt like a troubling portent of things to come, but neither of them had died, so... it's probably fine.]

[oldbookshop]

I think he might have just been bird-watching. But I'll admit it's very hard to tell with him.

[ The Horsemen are all strange and nebulous and hard to read on the individual level. Comes of being personifications of concepts, he imagines. It's definitely probably fine. ]

[demonicmiracle]

Odd place to be bird-watching, with everything that was going on.

[Death has always been the best and worst of them to deal with. A lot loss volatile than War, less of an ego than Famine, and Pestilence was — well. But Death is inevitable, and there's something that's always unpleasant about that.]

Maybe he was expecting us to make a last stand.

[Which is yet another thing he's not sure he wants to think about.]

[oldbookshop]

[ Fair point, that. Bird-watching with a side of being a very bad sign? A warning?

Aziraphale doesn't intend to ever ask. ]

The first last stand we made should have been more than enough. [ They were going to fight Satan with a hand crank and a fiery stick if an 11 year old couldn't fix things. It doesn't get much more last stand than that, surely. ] So if that's what he was after, I suppose it's flattering that we were a step ahead.

[demonicmiracle]

S'different, that was for the whole world. He'd have been busy with the rest of it.

[If Adam didn't sort things out and they did have to attempt to fight Satan, it would've meant the apocalypse restarting.

The two of them against a gaggle of demons and/or angels would've been messy but contained.]

Wonder if the swap tricked him, too. Not that I've any intention of talking to the bastard again, if it can be avoided.

[oldbookshop]

Oh, too busy to be a looky-loo that day. [ Mature things to mutter about literal Death.

Which is more to say, that's a fair enough point. Lots going on. A free little show in St. James, well. Could have had appeal. ]

Nor do I. Would've been very interesting to know, though. Death does sort of- [ weird swirly gesture ]- operate a bit on his own plane.

[ Maybe he was able to clock the difference in their corporations in ways angels and demons couldn't. Not fascinating enough to try to ask him, but still fascinating. ] I do hope he's not frequenting the park anymore now that it's done.

[ How would the ducks cope? ]

back at it again with leaving tags half-finished in an open tab only to discover them the next day

[demonicmiracle]

[Crowley loves him and his bitchy little asides so much it makes him look stupid. If he looks unbearably fond in Aziraphale's direction no he doesn't.]

All of them operate on their own damn plane, but Death's definitely the most...

[Weird swirly gesture.]

The ducks would put up a protest, I'm sure.

im in that picture and i dont like it

[oldbookshop]

[ Every single thing about what Crowley just said is so on Aziraphale's wavelength, it's uncanny. He's perfect. He's perfect and if the television is to be believed, he's looking at Aziraphale all the time when Aziraphale can't even see it. Infuriating. ]

And they'd be right to. [ Go somewhere else. They've got dibs on London as an Earthly living space.

As a temperature check on coping methods: local angel currently exactly tipsy enough to blow a raspberry when the seance pops back up. ] Oh. Ron. I remember this bit.

[ Then again, he remembers most of the bits. ]

its very sexy of us

[demonicmiracle]

[Temperature check results: Crowley is coping well enough that he can also scoff at the seance.

Just for different reasons.]

I'm disappointed I missed out on that, looks like it was a lark. [He could've caused sooooo many problems on purpose.] That Tracy seems fun, too, bet she'd get along with your Mrs. Sandwich.

[Mrs. Sandwich his beloved.]

[oldbookshop]

Madame Tracy and Mrs. Sandwich would delight each other. [ Two powerhouses... deserving the world. Doing their best. Maybe Mrs. Sandwich could talk Tracy out of being interested in Shadwell. Of all blasted people. Peace and love XOXO, etc.

It would have been better if Crowley were also at the seance. Very good reason for not being, obviously, and Aziraphale would have been very cross if he'd put off heading to the air base, but like. Spiritually, it would have been nice, in the way that even dreadful things are often better if Crowley is there. ]

If I had to have two humans round for tea on short notice, I think they'd be contenders.

[ Would he invite them if he wasn't mysteriously hypothetically forced to? Probably not. Depends on the day, depends on his mood. Those two would probably have interesting stories for days, though, and that's huge. ]

[demonicmiracle]

It'd likely kill Shadwell, too. [(positive)

Crowley never liked the man and that's only gotten worse now that he knows the idiot is responsible for Aziraphale being discorporated and the bookshop fire. The whole apocalypse experience would've been different, without that mess.]

Can we include dead ones? After seeing Agnes Nutter, I'd like to chat with her for a while.

[She was so iconic for the gunpowder in the skirts.]

[oldbookshop]

[ Oh no not Shadwell. Etc etc. Things not said but agreed with. Had the audacity to imply Aziraphale was straight. ]

I would love to talk with her. So many questions to ask. [ Unfair! He can never get her autograph.

All of which is secondary because the seance..... dismisses. Politely. And now Crowley is white-knuckling through traffic with a free flashback to his terrible moustache. There are more important things at hand. ]

Why would they not be applauding? That's clever! The M25 was clever!

[ Satan doesn't count because it's creepy how he calls Crowley darling. Only Aziraphale should be allowed to do that, when he's enacted his plan to become an item officially. Fuck off. ]

[demonicmiracle]

[Crowley isn't too surprised that they decided to use this situation for the show; it's important enough for how he got to Tadfield and dramatic enough that the audience would probably like it.

He's not sure how to personally feel about seeing it again, wondering if he should warn for the Hastur jumpscare. It's probably fine.]

They aren't very good at big picture moves. If you asked them, one single soul doomed is better than hundreds of thousand of miserable bastards going about their day.

[And maybe it is. Maybe that's why Crowley preferred the big picture schemes, to avoid actually damning any singular person.]

[oldbookshop]

[ Of course. No appreciation for the complicated nature of humanity, and Crowley's inherent kindness. Not a grand match, he supposes.

They don't deserve him, in the mean way, as no one ever has deserved him. And Crowley doesn't deserve them in that he deserves much better. ]

'What's a computer?' [ SCOFFS. ] Ridiculous. Hardly see them doing anything.

[ Like??? The evidence is speaking for itself on screen. All that cumulative power, built up over years. Not that Aziraphale approves of evil, objectively. Just of his crush. ]

[demonicmiracle]

There's a reason Hell mostly left me to my own devices.

[Both because they're fucking stupid, and because the one who were smart enough to be in charge understood that Crowley was doing far more work than the average demon.

No wonder he's been kind of bored, stuck in the North Pole. He's used to having multiple ongoing projects to manage.]

Anyway, you'd hardly want them up on Earth keeping busy like I was. You'd never get any reading in.

[oldbookshop]

[ Yes, because they're very stupid and underappreciative. Not that... not that it's a bad thing that they did mostly leave Crowley alone. Any time that they haven't left him to his own devices--

Well, doesn't need repeating. Aziraphale is not a fan, and he'll leave it at that in his mind palace. ]

Hm. Small mercies, yes. I wouldn't have cottoned to a smiting quota, so you wouldn't have ever heard the end of it.

[ The elaborate non-smiting circles Aziraphale would have to invent to deal with other demons who he doesn't care about. Ugh. How would he enjoy his reading, indeed. His dinner dates. His stage shows. It wouldn't do at all. ]

[demonicmiracle]

Would've been a nightmare.

[They both know that Crowley likely would've handled the problem for him and found a way to allow Aziraphale to take credit.

He wouldn't want too many other demons on Earth, either.

And ah, there's Hastur. Crowley hisses at the screen on instinct, remembering how raw and vulnerable he'd felt in that moment. It had been awful, Hastur being there.]