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oldbookshop) wrote2024-05-20 10:11 pm
oldbookshop) wrote2024-05-20 10:11 pm
Entry tags:
LONGESTNIGHT | mortifying ordeal 2k24
[ We're out here... we're at it. Snacks on lock. Beverages even more on lock because how else are they supposed to be expected to get through this. A watch setup that they can be sure no one else will wander in on, because that would make this even weirder.
(Aziraphale was mostly involved with the snacks and drinks, and not at all involved with any sort of tech setup. He's got a little notebook and a stubby pencil in case he needs to jot things down.)
They've agreed on their basic ground rules terms, whatever those look like. Who even truly knows. Probably some no-questions-asked "look away from this" allowances or "don't bring this up until we're done with this ordeal please" codewords or whatever. Maybe there's no real rules and this is the wild west. It's our world to create tbh.
But at least they can be emotionally flayed for public consumption in a warm cozy workshop environment. ]
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He's not sure how to personally feel about seeing it again, wondering if he should warn for the Hastur jumpscare. It's probably fine.]
They aren't very good at big picture moves. If you asked them, one single soul doomed is better than hundreds of thousand of miserable bastards going about their day.
[And maybe it is. Maybe that's why Crowley preferred the big picture schemes, to avoid actually damning any singular person.]
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They don't deserve him, in the mean way, as no one ever has deserved him. And Crowley doesn't deserve them in that he deserves much better. ]
'What's a computer?' [ SCOFFS. ] Ridiculous. Hardly see them doing anything.
[ Like??? The evidence is speaking for itself on screen. All that cumulative power, built up over years. Not that Aziraphale approves of evil, objectively. Just of his crush. ]
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[Both because they're fucking stupid, and because the one who were smart enough to be in charge understood that Crowley was doing far more work than the average demon.
No wonder he's been kind of bored, stuck in the North Pole. He's used to having multiple ongoing projects to manage.]
Anyway, you'd hardly want them up on Earth keeping busy like I was. You'd never get any reading in.
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Well, doesn't need repeating. Aziraphale is not a fan, and he'll leave it at that in his mind palace. ]
Hm. Small mercies, yes. I wouldn't have cottoned to a smiting quota, so you wouldn't have ever heard the end of it.
[ The elaborate non-smiting circles Aziraphale would have to invent to deal with other demons who he doesn't care about. Ugh. How would he enjoy his reading, indeed. His dinner dates. His stage shows. It wouldn't do at all. ]
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[They both know that Crowley likely would've handled the problem for him and found a way to allow Aziraphale to take credit.
He wouldn't want too many other demons on Earth, either.
And ah, there's Hastur. Crowley hisses at the screen on instinct, remembering how raw and vulnerable he'd felt in that moment. It had been awful, Hastur being there.]
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Hastur in Crowley's car. In Aziraphale's seat (if anyone else ever sits there or has sat there that's not his business, but when it's this gross random demon it suddenly matters very much). Touching Crowley's glasses.
What won't Hell take from his romantic daydreams? First darling, now taking off Crowley's glasses? Nothing is sacred.
Aziraphale is very good at restraint, as a rule. Well, a lot of the time. Perhaps not in the sense of refraining from his little indulgences and delights, or his books, or his shop, or his foods. So when it matters, he thinks, he's gotten a lot of practice with it over the years. Good at pulling his face back into order, swallowing feelings down before they can turn into words.
But Hastur is in his seat touching his demon while TV Crowley is in the middle of worrying and trying to be very clever. Frankly, it's a miracle Aziraphale doesn't just throw his glass at the screen as a reflex. ]
Oh, for- how many more times are we going to have to look at this- this blasted lobcock mucking about?
[ He's sick of it!!!! He'd literally rather be in a room with Sandalphon again than have to keep seeing Hastur disrespect the most important person in the world. Unprofessional! Classless! And also very stupid! Fuck Hastur, Aziraphale and his one friend hate Hastur. ]
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There's also something about Aziraphale's vehemence that he's going to tuck away to mull over later. It's just sort of – nice, to have someone upset and angry on his behalf, when he's always just had to accept this treatment as a given and wasn't allowed to be angry about it himself.]
Oh, don't worry, you'll like this next bit. I can't wait to see the look on Hastur's ugly mug.
[He couldn't really spare more than a quick glance at the time, as focused as he was.]
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Should have terrorized Hastur while he was wearing Crowley's face, he thinks, and then has to give himself the entire mental talking-to about what the whole point was. Better not to have all the personal vendettas rekindled fresh, probably. ]
I'm going to hold you to that. [ He wants to see carnage. Some degree of it. Proper recompense. Which, of course, is promptly delivered in spades.
Go with style. God. Crowley is unfairly attractive and Aziraphale can't say that or say how much he loves him. How dare he. ]
Oh, you were right. [ :) ! The degree of carnage. Just this once, Aziraphale will be bloodthirsty on main. Not counting any times he may have been in recent history or will be again in the future. ] Creative thinking really is your specialty, isn't it?
[ And a very gay pat on the arm to boot. ]
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He hadn't expected that, and he feels a bit like he's going to throw up about it, but he shoves that down and focuses on Aziraphale.
Compliments from Aziraphale are still slightly complicated, but not nearly as much as the ones from God are.]
It's gotten me out of more than a few tricky situations. This one was very satisfying.
[Although he feels bad about the Bentley :( Getting it back doesn't entirely undone the suffering.]
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It's not on sight if Hastur turns up, but it's not not on sight, either. The way Hell gets away with treating Crowley... atrocious. Unacceptable. ]
Suppose this explains why you were fashionably late to the occasion. It's a complex bit of reality to hold together for that distance, in those conditions.
[ Preemptive RIP and welcome back, Bentley. They could put you in the dictionary next to the definition of loyalty. ]
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[He isn't changing his mind that he would've preferred to get Hastur with the holy water, rather than Ligur, but he can't go back and change it, so he'll just have to live with having made Hastur suffer a bit.]
It was bloody exhausting, you're lucky I didn't need a couple months of sleep between that and dragging us to the sands of time.
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[ For reasons of loving him, and for the more practical reasons of managing to survive their own executions, which can be used to camouflage the reason Aziraphale can't just go around saying out loud.
It all worked out with an eerie, unbelievable sort of precision, didn't it. ]
Put your quick-thinking through its paces and then some. [ Look. He'll own that a little. He was very much the come up with something one at work on the back end there. ] A miracle you're conscious even now, really.
[ Okay, maybe that part is him teasing a little. Imagine sleeping after a day like that one. He can't. ]