LONGESTNIGHT | mortifying ordeal 2k24

[oldbookshop]

[ We're out here... we're at it. Snacks on lock. Beverages even more on lock because how else are they supposed to be expected to get through this. A watch setup that they can be sure no one else will wander in on, because that would make this even weirder.

(Aziraphale was mostly involved with the snacks and drinks, and not at all involved with any sort of tech setup. He's got a little notebook and a stubby pencil in case he needs to jot things down.)

They've agreed on their basic ground rules terms, whatever those look like. Who even truly knows. Probably some no-questions-asked "look away from this" allowances or "don't bring this up until we're done with this ordeal please" codewords or whatever. Maybe there's no real rules and this is the wild west. It's our world to create tbh.

But at least they can be emotionally flayed for public consumption in a warm cozy workshop environment. ]

Comments

[demonicmiracle]

[The sunglasses really are vital to Crowley's whole operation. There's no hiding the way his eyes widen slightly with realization and his gaze immediately darts away, guilty.

It's fine, he can just... be honest without revealing too much, maybe. He doesn't really want to lie to Aziraphale directly, so he won't, but it's not lying if he just doesn't fully address the truth.]

Hell owns it, actually. Could never be bothered with all that nonsense. [Hm! Okay!] The last thing I need in my life is realtors.

[oldbookshop]

[ Whether the full and wholly-represented implications of that statement combined with Crowley's dodgy look away hit home... well, theorists could debate that for ages. Perhaps they have, and perhaps at some point days or weeks from now, Aziraphale will suddenly sit up ramrod straight and say Crowley, when you say that Hell owns it, what does that mean?

Whatever implications Aziraphale groks at this exact moment in time, he clearly greatly dislikes regardless. Dare we say, they worry him greatly.

Even a realtor is better than a flat technically owned by Hell. (However marginally better.) ]

Oh. Oh, dear. [ He didn't account for that when he was, to put it politely and incorrectly, "negotiating" Crowley's being left alone. ] Oh, that's not going to do at all, is it. We can, we can course-correct that when we get back.

[ Vague blue-skying gesture. You know, course-correct. ]

And I know it's not really... well, aesthetically, I mean, I know it's not your taste, but the bookshop is obviously very secure from Hellish influence. You can come there. I'll make the space.

[ "Absolutely not, bitch, you live with me now" -- Aziraphale, 2024.

No wait. Is that too pushy? Maybe that's too pushy. ]

Only if you'd like. Of course. I'd prefer to have you there even if you'd just like to house-hunt for a bit, but it's obviously completely up to you.

[ But also he would like that and it would be very nice. Please do. But also no pressure. But also if Crowley does just go straight into a different flat Aziraphale needs to see it and help Crowley ward it. And kiss him in it. (The kissing is a separate docket.)

Siri is it weird to hypothetically offer to live together even though you were just talking about getting married someday and it wasn't weird? A mystery. ]

[demonicmiracle]

[There's a significant amount of mental math happening in the room right now; Crowley is trying to figure out what Aziraphale might have deduced from the admission, since it feels a bit like he's gotten off too easy here.

Not that the offer to move in doesn't require a lot of emotional bandwidth to process, although that fact that there's some distance between the offer and the reality does help, somewhat. He doesn't have to immediately wrestle with the concept of sharing a space with Aziraphale and all the potential anxieties that come along with it, like whether it'll be a short lived experience before Aziraphale grows tired of having someone else in his space and subtly tells Crowley to take a hike.

He can nudge that thought aside and just sit with the fact that Aziraphale wants him to potentially move in? That he's willing to make the offer so easily? That he'd prefer to have him close?

Actually Crowley doesn't know how to handle those emotions either.]

The bookshop's an embassy, wouldn't a demon moving in cause some issues?

[That's one reason amongst many that he hadn't mentioned losing the flat back home. He hadn't wanted to put Aziraphale in am awkward position to choose, and the bookshop being safe is more important than Crowley having a bed. Or any space at all.]

[oldbookshop]

[ There's not a polite way to say that Heaven's never really seemed to care about the shop on that level before, so Aziraphale just doesn't say it. Probably would have cared if they'd reassigned him and put another angel on the job, of course, but that somehow never happened.

After Armageddon, would they want to chance using it for official business at all? Debatable.

It's still a question worth properly thinking on, of course, because it's one he hadn't thought of yet. ]

There are several clauses for granting asylum. I don't believe they specified that demons are ineligible. [ Probably because they intended it to be a clear unspoken rule. More fool them. He can exploit that if he spins it right.

Hm. ] I'd need to read back over all the paperwork to be sure. On the off chance that Heaven noticed and wanted it filed for some reason.

[demonicmiracle]

[It's slightly odd to consider the notion of being granted asylum just because he wants to move in with his... partner? Fiancé? But he's not going to worry about that either, right now.]

It isn't just Heaven I'm concerned with. We'd need to be sure that any kind of residency from a demon won't give Hell access to the shop.

[The last thing he wants is to be the reason some random demon could wander in with hellfire.

None of this addresses the actual invitation, though, and he doesn't want Aziraphale to worry that he's trying to find excuses to avoid moving in, so he should — say something. There's a slightly weighted pause, as he finds his words, his attention firmly trained on his tea rather than Aziraphale.]

If it won't put you or the shop at risk, I'd be alright with... with living there. [Local demon struggles to verbalize his feelings, news at 11.] Aesthetics aren't all that important.

[oldbookshop]

Just so. Something else to read over. [ They'll figure something out. Make things work, however it is Crowley might like for them to work. It's nice that he's-- willing. Might like to. Enough to be considering the logistics. That makes this roller coaster night of mortifying ordeals worth experiencing.

And the concern is awfully sweet in the meantime. Aziraphale is never less at risk than when Crowley is part of the equation. Obviously. And that works out nicely, because it frees him up to be worried about Crowley being at risk, as he should. ]

I have the utmost confidence that we'll get it all sorted.

[ He gives him another foot nudge while he finally reaches for his tea, just to be dumb about it. ]

[demonicmiracle]

[The foot nudge is sweet, as is the reassurance that they'll sort it out, and Crowley decides to just — relax about it. He exhales slowly, leaning back against the sofa so he can look up at the ceiling.]

Right, we've covered sex, marriage, and cohabitation. [There's amusement in his voice; after joking about their glacial pace, it feels more like they've done a speed run on relationship discussions.

Kind of wild, considering neither of them are very into open communication. He's just relieved that haven't said anything accidentally hurtful.] Anything else you want to tick off the list while we're here?

[oldbookshop]

Hmmmmm.

[ What else to tick off the list indeed. ]

I think I'd like to have my tea and get back to kissing you, if that's alright. [ That counts, doesn't it?

No more communicating or processing or thinking. They've done more of that in the past hour than they ever have in their existence, and enough is enough. Possibly for the entire foreseeable future? An angel can dream. ]

[demonicmiracle]

[Hmmmm, indeed. Crowley weighs up his options for a second, before deciding to lean into being a little shit, since they've had enough seriousness for the day.

A quick little flick of his fingers has the tea cup disappear from Aziraphale's hands, as Crowley graces him with a faux innocent look.

(The cup has found itself on the side table, it's fine.)]

What tea?

[Gaslighting the love of his life in order to get kissed. Truly demonic activity.]

[oldbookshop]

[ The nerve. The audacity. The sheer lack of manners. ]

Have I told you lately that you're insufferable?

[ And yet he is still 100% going in to cradle Crowley's face. Once again the Aziraphale doth protest too much, on account of wanting to make out. ]

[demonicmiracle]

[The audacity only continues, as he casually tosses his own tea cup over his shoulder as soon as Aziraphale reaches for him. The cup, naturally, disappears before any tea spills.

Communicating with words is difficult, but he can express his enthusiasm with some Toontown ass shenanigans.]

Starting with the dirty talk already, angel?

[Just smack him, honestly.]

[oldbookshop]

[ There he is, your honor. The idiot to match Aziraphale's idiocy for the rest of eternity. ]

Oh, you really wouldn't need the clarification if I were. [ He'd just be out here being politely slutty.

Time to exercise his new power: shutting Crowley up by kissing him. Godspeed other Guardians, if you need their help: don't. ]